When it comes to relationships, some of us have had the unfortunate but eye-opening experience of being in an extremely toxic one. Most likely, our first experience was enough to be our last, if we were lucky enough to learn from our mistakes and never get involved in one of those types again.
But sometimes, you are so deep in the trenches that you can’t even see the mess you are in until it is too late.
Human beings have the tendency to idealize things that they want. Studies have shown that being in “love” actually makes your lover seem more attractive, intelligent and desirable than they really are. How many times did you look back at and ex and be like “Wow, what the f*ck was I thinking?” — exactly my point.
That is how powerful being infatuated or falling in love can be. It is so powerful that you literally fall head over heels into an obsession with the other person, and in most cases, the IDEA of what the other person should or could be.
When it comes to dysfunctional relationships, people usually hold on because they are deeply invested; whether it be finances, dependance, emotions, or even that so much time has passed that they feel there is no way out.
People will try to make the best of the situation they are in, endure hardships if they aren’t too extreme, or even try to convince themselves of reasons not to leave their current “rehateshunshit.” People who think this way are always living in the future or in the past rather than in the reality that exists now. They have “hope” that one day things will get better or go back to how things were and that all the pain will go away one day.
Maybe it will, but rarely is that the case. They become obsessed with hope and see things how they could be rather than how they really are. This is an extremely flawed way of thinking and will bring nothing but long-term pain and suffering for both people involved.
So what are some signs that it is time to leave your rehateshunshit?
1.) Bad communication
If you are in a relationship that has sh*tty communication, it will naturally fail on its own over time. Constant miscommunications will turn small issues into giant arguments that could have been avoided, and eventually, will one day lead to a break up. If you can’t talk to your partner like they are your best friend, then you are really just in a sexual relationship based on convenience rather than deep rapport.
Try to express yourself to your partner and open up the connection. Unless you like someone who doesn’t talk much, then this isn’t a problem for you. But if you are looking for a deep, meaningful connection where you can share everything that’s on your mind and have great conversations, I suggest you walk out that door, otherwise you will be forced out the door after months of painful frustration and endless drama.